Like most children and youngish adults who grew up in the late 90's or 00's, I have jumped on the Pokémon Go bandwagon. For those to whom this revelation has up til now gone, excuse my pun, unown, Pokemon Go is a new app that as far as I can see serves two purposes: making wads of cash from nostalgic twenty-somethings who spend snorlax-sized big bucks worth of in-app purchases of pokeballs and getting children get up and be active. How do they do this? What the actual app does is seamlessly blend reality with virtual reality by placing CGI looking Pokémon in the real world. Wannabe trainers who wish to catch said Pokémon must leave their air-conditioned houses and walk around in order to find them. If you don't get the meme-worthy level of hype that such a game can cause than I don't think your its target audience. I did not know this game existed until yesterday when it officially dropped. Yet, seeing it as a duty to my childhood, I donned my backpack, turned my baseball hat backward and set out for adventure.
So, why is this game a good first step in solving some of humanity's biggest issues? Two words: population control. We know what happens when dumb young people spend time outside: they get kidnapped, hit by cars, fall into wells and, ultimately, die. Add on top of this the fact that those running around are heavily distracted and staring at screens instead of their surroundings and you won't be surprised that the youth are dropping like flygons at the moment. Furthermore, this app encourages its players to wander around areas they haven't been and explore new locations to collect more Pokémon. These uncharted territories can easily be dangerous construction sites, no-trespassing zones or shady neighborhoods. I'm fully expecting a news story pretty soon describing a tween who wandered into a demolition site and fell into a hole of wet concrete whilst searching for a zubat. Never before has the journey to become a Pokémon Master been more treacherous, and this is a journey that has involved horses that breathe fire, giant snakes made out of rock, and taser mice.
It may seem like I'm painting Pokémon Go in a bad light but I actually think it's a great idea. The world could use a few less people and this is the true way to weedle out the strong trainers from the week. I myself went outside, caught a pidgey, then went back inside because the sun was bright. That's the way the cookie crumbles.
5 Hunna or Less
Daily propositions, ponderings, and panderings of a lackluster young adult. In five hundred words or less.
Thursday, July 7, 2016
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
On Names
To be fair, I don’t have anything against people with first
names as their first name, middle name, and last name. It just so happens that
a certain person who I have an aversion towards has a name that sounds like
someone is reciting a list to make sure all kids are on the bus at a field trip
for an all boys’ school. Also being fair, I’m a tolerant person. I don’t hate
people. I just happen to dislike a large amount of people. Three first names is
one of those people that I dislike more than the rest. So three first names
isn’t something inherently bad. I just need things to make fun of this person
about and when it comes to how many insults you can have in your repertoire,
the limit does not exist.
My
pondering on names had me ruminating on other types of names that can be
ridiculous or hilarious, such as the ol’ same first and last name. Do these
names exist in real life? I personally have never become acquainted with a
Peter Peters or heard a radio program hosted by a Jackson Jackson, but does
that mean that they don’t exist? Perhaps their names are the reason that we
haven’t heard of them in the first place and they are hiding from the world in
a cave or convent until the day they turn eighteen and can legally change their
name. Personally, I feel like such a sort of name would be all it takes to
skyrocket someone to fame and glory. The brand would be instantly recognizable.
It practically builds itself. Any parent should not be surprised when they
write Jake Jacobs on a birth certificate and upon lifting their head see four
other infants behind their son doing synchronized dance moves and wearing
matching bandanas. You know what I mean? The name Jake Jacobs belongs in a boy band like Mark Marx
belongs in a library with a tumbler of scotch in hand.
I wonder
what goes through parents’ heads when they decide on their baby’s name. I
admire anyone who can say “we’re picking this name because we like it” and
leave it at that, because sometimes things come up down the road that you’ve
just got to plan ahead for. If you name your child Harriet Penelope Valdez,
well that’s just shame on you because now your daughter’s initials are HPV. But
what if you name your kid Henry Charles Smith and everything seems fine until the
outbreak of a new debilitating super virus that results in what can only be
called Human Cow Syndrome? Unlucky.
Names are
an interesting human machination but they individualize the something billion
of us and can provide more insight into character than many of us would like.
Such as that John Collin Evans is annoying and has a big mouth.
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
Fantastic Mr. Fox - Analysis and Explanation of Two Favorite Scenes
Fantastic Mr. Fox, a stop-motion film directed by Wes
Anderson, is one of my favorite movies of all time. It is something that I can
go back to watch again and still enjoy no matter how many times I’ve already
seen it, mostly because of it’s unique style that makes it ~different~ than
anything else in the film world. I mean, I chose a quote from this movie as my
senior yearbook quote, if that’s not hardcore fangirling I don’t know what is.
Like all good movies it has talking, anthropomorphic animals. That’s not the
only thing that makes it so special. The humanity in the way these non-human
characters interact and behave illuminates relevant themes: change, adaptation,
and survival. I want to analyze two of my favorite scenes from Fantastic Mr.
Fox to see why they are so fantastic and examine how they reflect the overall
themes of the film.
The Train Set
While
cousin Kristofferson arrives at the tree to stay with his aunt and uncle while
his father recovers from double pneumonia, he shares a room with his grumpy
cousin, Ash, and it is made clear that these two young foxes are very different
and not just physically. Kristofferson is seemingly perfect: tall, has
gravitas, and is naturally athletic, the latter being something that Ash
heavily resents. Yet at bedtime after one of Ash’s tiny tantrums we see that
Kristofferson has not transitioned perfectly to his temporary life and the
stresses of an ill father and he begins to not so silently cry himself to sleep
under a huge model train set. At this point we get a glimpse of Ash’s true
character when he descends from his bed and turns on the train set to comfort
his cousin. Ash wakes up on the wrong side of the bed and is full of quirky
young angst, but that doesn’t mean he is a bad person (er, fox). Cousins become
brothers as they become higher powers, watching their little world of the train
following its tracks in hypnotic circles. (One of the little details that makes
the movie a true masterpiece is that the start of the next scene begins with a
real train running through the countryside world of where the animals live,
connecting what is to come with what has just happened).
The Wolf
So the train scene showed small aspects of the themes of change and adaptation, but this
scene is basically the culmination of those themes’ development that took place
throughout the movie. Mr. Fox and company are driving through the country after
making a daring escape and rescue when they see a wolf in the distance.
Throughout the movie, Mr. Fox has said again and again that he has a phobia of
wolves. Yet when he sees the majestic solitary creature watching them, framed
by snow capped mountains and forest on either side, he doesn’t feel fear but
rather admiration and respect. The wolf is the epitome of a wild animal, which is
why a fox who for so long made a living and created an identity off of thinking
and being like humans in order to outsmart them is afraid of it. In the same
way that Ash doesn’t accept being ~different~ from societal norms (wearing a
cape with pants tucked into the socks) Mr. Fox denies the wild side of him,
preferring to think things through rather than go off instinct. As the film
progresses he realizes what he is, at one point explaining to his wife that
he’s “a wild animal” as the reason behind some mistakes he is not proud of.
However, in an uplifting toast/pep talk we see that he accepts this part of his
character when he tells his friends and family that being wild animal is what
will save their lives. And it is. So when Foxy sees the wolf from afar it is
not fear that he feels but a newfound admiration for a beast that fully accepts
and celebrates the wildness that each animal has inside. At the same time he
realizes that he cannot live like the wolf, who doesn’t talk or wear clothes.
Nor can he be like the humans. In order to survive, the foxes and other animals
live in an in between world of instinct and intellect. Now that Mr. Fox has
adapted to the human danger by accepting the wild inside of him, he is equipped
to survive whatever conditions await him. After an attempt to converse with the
wolf to no avail, Mr. Fox simply lifts a paw in the air and the wolf does the
same. It is a sign of mutual respect. Both species are bonded to the other
because both do what they must to survive. The wolf trots back in to the forest
from whence it came and Mr. Fox and company continue to their sewer apartments
on a motorcycle. Also, the music hair-raisingly or fur-raisinlgy beautiful
What do you think? Do you like the movie as much as I do?
Agree or disagree with my analysis?
Monday, July 4, 2016
Cures for Restlessness
Seeing as this is my first post ever, I feel it should be dedicated to an introduction and about me but the point is to be for me to write what I want and I want to give GD cures for restlessness.
Plan a thru-hike (or section hikes if you're practical and realistic and/or daunted) of the Appalachian Trail. Or anywhere really
Listen to the Hamilton soundtrack. Or any musical soundtrack. Go on a journey with your ears as your guide
Start a blog?
Do something in secret. Even though it would make no difference if people found out. Just don't tell anyone you're eating a banana to make the act more exciting and intriguing
Go for a run and pretend you're being chased by something to boost adrenaline
Tie yourself to something heavy yet comfortable
Jump off something high, but not too high...
Just enough for a real rush that you'll need a nap after
Play follow the leader with your pet as the leader for a day. Just lie down on the floor and eat. Maybe walk around. Chew. You'll learn a lot
This has been my first post. I hope you picked up some ways to become restful!
Plan a thru-hike (or section hikes if you're practical and realistic and/or daunted) of the Appalachian Trail. Or anywhere really
Listen to the Hamilton soundtrack. Or any musical soundtrack. Go on a journey with your ears as your guide
Start a blog?
Do something in secret. Even though it would make no difference if people found out. Just don't tell anyone you're eating a banana to make the act more exciting and intriguing
Go for a run and pretend you're being chased by something to boost adrenaline
Tie yourself to something heavy yet comfortable
Jump off something high, but not too high...
Just enough for a real rush that you'll need a nap after
Play follow the leader with your pet as the leader for a day. Just lie down on the floor and eat. Maybe walk around. Chew. You'll learn a lot
This has been my first post. I hope you picked up some ways to become restful!
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